And the beanpole goes next!
by TFALokiwriter
Summary: A what if timeloop that could have happened in 'magic to make the sanest man go mad'.


"And the beanpole goes next!" Mudd added.

Saru grabbed onto the woman's shoulder, closing his eyes preparing for the toss and the pain that awaited him. He braced himself for the pain that was to be expected. A part of Saru wondered why Lorca kept such dangerous weapons in his 'mancave'. Saru resigned himself to a fate that he could have avoided had the Shenzhou been destroyed. A quick, painless death. He looked back in his long, well spent career. He had lived long compared to what he had thought his career in star fleet would be all those years ago. The people he came across and gone to know. The captain, alive, and the first officer dead. A parallel of what had happened on the previous command. He waited for the criminal to make the move. Saru let go of the woman's shoulder.

Instead, Stamet's unexpected shout made the Kelpian's eyes snap open.

Saru looked down to see the woman beginning to fall in front of him like a rag doll.

Saru's heart dropped.

" _No_ ," Saru said.

Saru grasped onto the woman lowering her down to the floor.

There was no sign of pain on the woman's face. No sign of shock. No sign of disbelief as the woman slowly was eaten away by the purple mass. Michael's face was relaxed, and calm. Well composed. The same way that she had entered his life seven years ago. Only she accepted her death with dignity that a Vulcan would have. To Saru, Michael slowly began to fade in light purple smoke from the man's arms looking up at him. Saru couldn't hear what was going on around him. Or what Mudd was saying. Knowing Michael all passed in a matter of seconds before his eyes as he felt helpless. Her lips did not move. As though if she opened her mouth, all that would come would be painful and agonizing screams. Former Commander Burnham vanished from the Kelpian's arms at the age of thirty. His arms outstretched for a solid body that did not exist. Mudd collasped to the floor with a soft thud to his side being from a shot to the head by Lieutenant Owosekun. The woman lowered her gun placing it into her station. Airiam came to the woman's side placing a hand on her shoulder. The women shared a glance. Airiam nodded toward Owosekun.

"Captain Saru," Stamets started, as the kelpian stood up. "I can fix this. I won't let her die next time."

Saru turned in the man's direction.

"Next time?" Saru asked.

"We are stuck in a 30 minute time loop," Stamets said. Now it made sense about the gloating. "I exist out of it because of the Tardigrade DNA side effect. In ten minutes we are going to blow up and start this loop again."

"You will make sure that Comm-" Saru began to say but stopped himself midsentence. A painful reminder of the woman was saying. He briefly closed his eyes. Michael's comment on grieving for her imaginary loss went along the lines of, "Do not grieve, Saru," for a simulation on the Shenzhou floated into his mind. How could he not grieve for someone who felt like a sister to him? "Burnham does not die."

"You have my word, captain," Stamets said, with a nod.

Saru turned in the direction of the black communications officer.

"Lieutenant Bryce, announce to the crew for preparation of detonation," Saru explained.

"Aye, captain," Bryce said.

R. A. Bryce, a Lieutenant, announcing to the crew of something that would normally be handled by the captain. However due to the tampering of the computer by Mudd, it was unwise to make the announcement when it would likely not respond to the acting captain's requests. The black officer turned in the direction of his station. Saru was trembling as he came over to the captain's chair. His stubby, Caucasian fingers trailing over the arm rest buttons as he slid himself over into the chair. Saru's threat ganglia came out as the sense of death was coming near. Saru tucked the gangilia into the slip on the back of his head. The officers had returned to their stations. Saru steadied once seated down. The emotional toll was hard on him. Saru had another sigh regaining his emotional control as tears were appearing on the edges of his eyes. The tears began to sting the man's eyes. Saru gulped down the threatening emotions to keep his controlled, well composed captainly demeanor.

Saru looked over toward Stamets.

"It has been an honor to serve with you, Lieutenant Stamets," Saru said. Instead of, _"You will do better."_ a hurtful comment made by Saru's anger and heartbreak at the tragedy. A selfish comment. "you will never tell Michael of her death. Only Star Fleet should know of it in the event that you make a report of this."

"Captain," Stamets began. "there is a lot to cover in my report. Somethings may fall through the crack but it'll be covered."

"You are dismissed," Saru said. "and I suppose, if I never get the chance-"

"You only get to say it when I am never going to see you again," Stamets headed towards the turbo lift walking away from the captain.

Minutes later, the ship was being rattled from side to side from the explosions. Saru informed the crew, "Remain calm, and know that, it has been an honor to serve with all of you." in the silent panic and fear on the bridge. The bridge officers shared long glances as the bridge trembled. Saru closed his eyes in preparation of death. Saru would be lying if he said that he was not afraid of what was next. His threat ganglia was out feeling the sense of death headed his way. The machinery to the bridge was being hysterical. In the next few seconds, Lorca would be sitting in the captain's chair alive. Saru at his station. Michael Burnham alive. Ash Tyler alive. All one hundred thirty-six crewmembers alive. . . The turbo lift doors blasted open and the last thing Saru heard was screams _._

 **The End.**


End file.
